I shaved my head. 

Yes, it’s true I shaved off my long heavy blonde beautiful hair. When people ask me why I couldn’t really tell you the exact reason, but I just felt deep down that God had a lot to teach me if I did shave my head. So when I asked God “should I shave my head” I felt a “probably” from God. Of course you could assume my response: “Probably?? You’re asking me to shave off my long beloved blonde hair that I’ve barely cut and loved my whole life for a “probably?!” 

Let me give you a little back story because I haven’t written a blog since Jaco, Costa Rica. Guatemala (our second country) was absolutely everything my soul needed. Everyday was a consistent tearing down and rebuilding of my identity in Christ. So you could definitely say it was a rollercoaster of emotions. Some days I felt like my world was crumbling to pieces, and the next I felt as if i could leap over the moon. In a nutshell Guatemala was all about identity identity identity, and also a lot of good food. 

Currently I am now in Eswatini, Africa where the people are the most beautiful and the sunsets are ethereal. I love it here, life is slow and ministry is full of surprises. As soon as we got here I knew there was more that God was breaking down about my identity. I had thought about shaving my head for a couple of weeks by then, but never thought I would actually do it. Until my good friend Gretchen was like “Amy I feel like you should shave your head” and when Gretchen says something like that she normally is right. So I thought about it all day, then shaved it all off that night. So far it has been one of the most freeing experiences I’ve ever had. Trusting that God will come through and that no matter what hair style I’m rocking I am still altogether beautiful. Also, I would say that about 99% of the kids that come to our ministry have their heads shaved. It’s a rule that the schools they attend have, and I don’t know why but you can’t attend school unless your head is shaved male or female. So when ministry started and I had a shaved head all of the older girls were like “why would you do that?” My answer would normally just be “because I wanted to.” Being at ministry I had such a huge pull towards the older girls and felt a deep connection with them and I didn’t know why. For some reason it was easy for me to connect with the older kids. Then one day my shepherd (which is someone who is in charge of where we do ministry) told me that the reason the older girls feel so comfortable around me is because my head is shaved. He told me that they don’t think of Americans to ever have shaved heads, so the fact that I do makes them feel like they can relate to me more. Ministry has been so beautiful for me because of the love and connection that I feel for the older girls. They teach me so much about their language and life and are also not to mention the best dancers ever. It made me think even if this was the only reason for me to shave my head, it would be worth it because of the connection I’ve made with the women here. I know God has so many more reasons for it that I haven’t found yet, but I am so thankful that this little thing could bring me closer to the women here. Though it is such a small reason it has been so worth it. It makes me think of how funny God is, that if we’re willing God will come through for us in the most unexpected ways. I used to think obedience to God was icky and weird, but that was because I knew the word obedience through how the world shows us. Obedience can be traumatic, or feel oppressive or be something we don’t want to do/ don’t agree with. I’ve learned through my relationship with God that obedience to the Lord is actually a thrill. Something that requires only trust and faith, no matter how weird or illogical it may sound. The holy spirit is completely and utterly unpredictable, but when we surrender our entire being to God all of our day to day actions should flow from our surrender. So when God asks me something so strange like to shave my head, I can’t help but feel like “well this should be interesting.” Now because I know God is so good, anything I feel the holy spirit push me towards will always work out for my good. Even if it simply means I will be able to relate to a people group of an entirely different culture and race a little bit more. Obedience to God is exciting and also a little bit scary, but I would way rather that then to keep making my own decisions of what I think would be best. God always knows what will be the most fun and exciting, and if I want a life full of love and fun and surprises then I want a life with God.